Perhaps no other topic in the course of human events provides as much fodder for humor as romantic relationships.My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. Andy Warhol Isn’t it strange — when you’re single, all you see is couples, and when you’re part of a couple, all you see are hookers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. - Julia Roberts Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay? It's being able to eat anything without getting fat. On the other hand, things being what they are today, most of us will settle for a guy who holds down a steady job and isn't carrying an infectious disease. O'Rourke There is nothing so awkward as courting a woman whilst she is making sausages. Kennedy, Jr., and even Robert De Niro was in there for a day. O'Rourke Dear men; Actually, our dream isn't finding the perfect guy. All we want is your basic millionaire/brain surgeon/criminal lawyer/ great dancer who pilots his own Lear Jet and owns oceanfront property.
Mitch Hedberg There’s only two people in the world you should lie to: the police and your girlfriend. Rita Rudner My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice.
David Bissonette It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
Francois De La Rochefoucauld If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.
Chelsea Handler Valentine’s Day is being marketed as a Date Movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again.
And if you like it, there may not be a second date.